Deathbed

‘I love you’. She whispered slowly, while lying on the bed.

‘I love you too my dear’, he took her warm hands into his own as he sat besides the bed.

‘I won’t live, will I?’ she was almost in tears now.

‘Shh, do not speak rubbish. God knows who gives you such ideas’, he tried to comfort her.

‘I know that. Even the doctor says so. It has been 4 months now since I have been bedridden and with each passing day, I feel as if I am becoming weak and paranoid. As if I do not have any more strength left. I feel so bad, so helpless. What has happened to me, dear? We were so happy, as lively as a couple sometime back. I loved the way you took me out on holidays, I loved the way you cared for me and I cherished all the gifts you bought for me. How can I forget, that amidst all my troubles, grief and sorrow, it was you who held my hand. How can I forget, that after his death, it was you understood my pain and married me. And now, look at me, a thankless woman, going away from you, leaving you alone? Is this justifiable? Tell me, my dear husband, tell me. This realization has been haunting me since the day I fell ill.’ And with this, she started crying like a baby.

‘I don’t care what the doctor says! Dear, if it was destiny that brought us together for this blissful relation, let it be destiny again to decide what shall happen in the future. I have been lucky so far to have you as my companion and it gives me sadness and pain to see you in this condition. Love, always remains in our hearts and god forbid if something happens to you, you will remain with me forever. Now if you would just allow me to give your medicines and the syringes.’, and he moved towards the desk, which had piles of colorful tablets and couple of syringes.

‘You know, the doctor has been really sweet and kind to me. She has been talking to me about various things in life and I really think we owe her quite a lot. I think if she weren’t around, I would have died a long time back’, she muttered.

He gave a smile and said ‘Yes, we do owe her a lot. I shall thank her personally once you are fit again.’

‘I have asked you so many times to keep a nurse to take care of you and to give you these medicines, but you are one hell of a stubborn lady. Would never listen to me’, he remarked as he filled the syringe with utmost care.

‘With you around, why should I even think of any other person? I want to die in your arms with you looking into my eyes.’ she smiled feebly yet with a mischief in it.

‘You and your deathly talks!’ and they both laughed heartily at this.

As he injected the syringe, she said ‘Wow, you know I suddenly feel good about all this. I now want to live and love you more than ever, I want to roam around places with you, I want to even have kids, ha-ha, with you and I just want to live life once again! We have so much money that we don’t even have to think about anything and you know I also want to….’ her voice suddenly choked as the tears filled eyes gave him a wide stare.

He looked into her eyes, came closer to her and said slowly ‘This is what you wanted dear, to look into my eyes while dying, didn’t you? What made you think, you old fool, that I am in love with you?’ his voice started to grow with immense hatred in his eyes. He continued,’ What made you think I would marry a widow of my employer, who was 24 years elder to me? What were you thinking when I was taking you out around the world on your own expenses? Why on the earth you thought that I will have kids with you? You were nothing but an emotional fool and a ticket to my fortune. Here you go back to your husband. I waited for months for this moment and now it has finally come. I love you too my dear because of the treasure you have left behind for me to enjoy and as promised will remain forever in my heart as a token of gratitude.’

He looked at those lifeless eyes again and then picked up his phone, scrolled down to the name ‘Doctor’ and rang up. A small ring and a female voice spoke up ‘Hello dear’.

‘Darling, it’s done. Pack up for honeymoon!’

Author – Siddhartha Adhikari

Canteen dhamaal...

Please note here FC means Food court and has no relation to any organisation:)...

The song is inspired by the Cult 'XL ki Kudiyan' by XLRI based Bodhi Tree group.

FC ki Pooriyan very very bad,
haye mere tauba tauba,
FC ki pooriyan very very bad,
haye meri tauba tauba,

Tel mein bhigo diya,kaccha paros diya,
Tel mein bhigo diya,kaccha paros diya,
Khaane mein hoti very very sad
haye meri tauba tauba


FC ki idliyan very very hard,
haye mere tauba tauba,
Badboo bhi maar diya,patthar si lag diyan,
Badboo bhi maar diya,patthar si lag diyan,
Khaate hi toote re Daant,
haaye merei tauba tauba


FC ki Rotiyan very barbaad,
haye mere tauba tauba,
Baasi hi rehendiyan, sookhi bhi hondiyan,
Baasi hi rehndiyan, sookhi bhi hondiyan,
Aate se sann jaate hai haath,
Haaye meri tauba tauba


FC ki dahiyan very very beswaad,
haye mere tauba tauba,
Kadwi hi hondiyan,Paani si behendiyan,
Kadwi hi hondiyan,Paani si behendiyan,
Pet na deta fir apna saath,
Haaye meri tauba tauba....


FC ki subziyan very very Waahiyat,
haye meri tauba tauba,
Kam si hi hondiyan,Khatti bhi hondiyan
Kam si hi hondiyan, Khatti bhi hondiyan,
Keeda bhi bole Haye mere baap,
Haaye meri tauba tauba....

Dadu , my Dadu!!

As the pyre was lit up, I saw a part of my life being put up in flames. A relation ended forever, with memories to pour through as the time progresses. The irony was, 28 years back, he had carried me on his shoulders and taken me home for my first step in this world and 28 years later, I carried him on my shoulders for his final journey.

Dadu (grand dad in bengali/nanaji in hindi), as I fondly called him, was a man of discipline and was a total family man. To him, the well being of the family members was of prime importance. Having seen troubled times right from his childhood, he valued money and always stressed on saving it. He was a man of simple taste and had core values. Tall he was, with a strong body frame, he could give today's youngsters a run for their money in terms of physique. He loved us all and always cared for others even when he would be under crisis.

My early memories with him go back to the times, when he used to carry me in his arms to a nearby park in Chandigarh. There he would sit for hours watching me play to my satisfaction. He loved all the grand children equally and called them Dadubhai affectionately.Often, he would make me sit beside him and tell me stories about his struggle, about his life and he never failed to tuck in a 50 or a 100 rupee note each time I went to Kanpur. The short but sweet banters which he used to share with my grandmother were a treat to hear. He used to have his food at specified timings and had a good sense of humor. He had a tumbler made of brass in which he used to have water. Dadu woudl always ask me about my lifestyle, my job everytime i visited him. I never realised that while I was touching my youth, he was approaching the last years of his life. For me he always used to be the same loveable Dadu who would sing songs in the morning and would fan his grandchildren during summers with a small hand fan. He always told me to be a good person and always respect my upbringing. The last time i met him, in Nov, 2009, we chatted a lot on life and about past. He kissed me and told me ' Don't know when I will see you again'

Today, he is no more. He left for heavenly abode on 10th of August, 2010, exactly a week before. As i remember him, tears do fall from my eyes. The fact that the next time I visit my Mama's house, Dadu wouldnt be there, gives me immense pain. The fact that whenever I call up, I dont hear Dadu, troubles me.

On 10th of Aug, I met him the last time on his bed in the ICU. He was trying to come into senses but the body wasnt supporting it. For one moment, he looked at me, tried to hold my hand and then released it. The moment will remain etched in memory forever.

Dadu had a wish - to attend my marriage. I had a wish - to talk to Dadu at least once before he leaves us all. We both couldnt fulfill each other's wishes.
That is life's way of balancing out things.

RIP, Mr N C Chatterjee.
Dadu, I will miss you and your love forever! How I wish, just once, you had opened your eyes and called me 'Dadubhai'.

P.S - I wanted to write more but my hands and brains are failing me.

An unfortunate Grandson
Gullu